Marriage is hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There are days when I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Days when I can’t make sense of what my role is or how I can best support my family or husband. Days when no matter how hard I try, I can only focus on the bad. It’s such a weird feeling because even with all the uncertainty in marriage, I know that I so desperately want to stay married. But as time goes on, the uncertainty and problems stick around. We fight. We disagree. We (mostly I) say hurtful things…and we’re stuck in that cycle.
But then there are days when I look at my husband and my children and I know, deep inside myself, that they are my greatest accomplishment. That my husband was hand picked for me by God and that in a world full of broken homes and marriages, he is my #1 supporter and loves every part of me, even the ugly parts. That we took a vow to love each other in the good and in the bad, and that we need to do everything in our power to honor that commitment. Not because we have to but because we want to. Staying married is my plan A and I don’t want there to be a plan B.
It’s so important to me to model this for my children too. After all, they are little reflections of us and I’m certain that if we work hard, as a team, that we can pass on this legacy to them. A legacy that teaches them that even though marriage gets tough, you keep fighting for it. Even though you and your spouse disagree, you fight to find the compromise. Even when you feel like you can’t take another day of the madness, you dig deep for the strength to hold on. Because even though marriage is hard work, it’s the best work. A legacy of unconditional love, compromise, forgiveness, and hard work.
So today, as I look at this picture, I’m reminded that these people are the most important people in my life and that my everyday chaos is for something important. Far more important then I can even imagine or understand. It reminds me that I need to push forward, even when I don’t think I can. That when I fall, I have to pick myself back up, and keep going. And to my husband, the odds are not in our favor, not when divorce rates are at 50%. But you are my husband whom I love. We have come a long way and have a far better life then we deserve and I am so thankful for that. Marrying you seven years ago was the best decision I ever made and I choose you, every time.